Sunday, November 9, 2008

Coming Full Circle

I was sitting here this evening reading back through my blog posts... Do you ever do that? It is amazing to see how my life has changed so much just this year. In my first post I said that this might be a type of therapy for me. I just didn't realize how much it would help. I have met new friends, and renewed old acquaintances. You all have been there as I was going through some of the hardest trials of my life. I have battled sickness & financial difficulties. But you have also been there with me through some of the happiest times of my life. This year, I have 2 new nephews, I have learned how to sew, and basically just released the creative side of myself.

I realized as I was reading my past posts that I never told you the results of my neurological testing. The MRI came back fine. I didn't have a tumor as the doctor thought at first. However the doctor felt sure that I had Partial Onset Seizures. I hadn't taken the medication that he had given me so when I went back for the office visit he was a little upset with me. He asked me to take the medication for 1 month and then come back. Of course you know me, I asked a multitude of questions about the medication. The medication was a full blown seizure medication. Once I began taking it I would have to take it for the rest of my life. If I didn't then that could result in full seizures. I told him that my husband & I would discuss it, and that was pretty much the end of the visit. I decided not to take the medication and cancelled my next doctor's appt. For many weeks after the testing I was still having major headaches, dizziness, and some numbness in my extremities. These things would always come after I had experienced a rough night. I sleep very hard. I can't say I had sleepless nights because I didn't. I would just wake up feeling like I had run a marathon! Well, one Sunday morning I woke up with a headache, and felt like I could pass out at any moment. I went ahead and went to church with my family. I didn't tell the kids how I felt, only my husband knew. We had been praying for a miracle, and I knew that when God was ready then he would heal me. I sat through church and I felt like I was barely there. I had a sense of being on the outside looking in. I could tell what was going on, but felt like I wasn't a part of it. After the preacher finished his sermon, he decided to sing a song and asked me & my Mom to come sing with him. The song was O What a Savior. I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to stand through the entire song. I felt like I was swaying as we were singing. Immediately after the song was over, I asked him if he would anoint me with oil and pray for me. He said Yes! He asked 2 of the elders in our church to come up and pray with us too. He asked me if I believed that God would heal me, and I said I believe he can. He asked me that twice, and I responded the same way. Then he said No, do you believe he will heal you, and I said Yes, I believe he will. He said we are going to pray for a miracle and you are going to be healed. The entire church started praying, and I was healed. I no longer have those tremendous headaches. I haven't had the numbness or dizziness that I felt for so many months. I still have headaches, but I think that goes along with stress, and they are nothing like the headaches that I did have. The headaches I did have were like brain aches. I literally felt like my brain was going to explode! I don't have those anymore. God healed me!

I don't know why I haven't shared my testimony with you. I should have, and I feel horrible for not doing it sooner. I always want to praise God for what he does for me. He has always been there for me. I want to be faithful and committed to him. I know God knows exactly where I am today. He knows my weakness, and my faults, and Guess What? He still loves me! He is my father. He is still teaching me, and I am still learning. This morning in church our Pastor was preaching, and he spoke to a lady in our church that is 94 years old. He asked her, How bad do you want to go to Heaven? She said Bad, and then she said I am ready. I want to be ready when he calls me. Don't you?


Mari said...

What a great testimony! Thanks for sharing. Yes, I want to be ready too.

Carliea said...

Our pastor made a good point. I always say I believe God can heal me until recently I never said He will. I realized that I was saying that I felt He could move for everyone but wasn't making it personal to me. I also didn't say He will move for me. Thank you for sharing this blog with me.

Valerie said...

What a great testimony! Thank you for sharing this. I was having a kind of down day today until I read this. Thank you.