When Charlie and I first got married almost 18 years ago, I said I didn't want to have children, or at least not right away. I come from a large family and all but one of my siblings is younger than me. I wanted some time in my life without little children around or so I thought. Well, needless to say God didn't have that in the arrangements 13 months after getting married my son, Trevlyn arrived. Then 16 months later my daughter, Beth arrived. I guess I am one of the people in that 1% chance where birth control pills just don't work. I was taking birth control when I got pregnant with both of them. In 1995 when I had to have a hysterectomy the doctor said that it was a miracle that I had carried children at all. I've always believed my children are miracles.
I have often treated them as little angels. Probably, Okay definitely not disciplining them enough. My siblings say that I talk them to death! Yes, I have conversations with my children. We talk about their problems, their concerns, even their anger or what they think is an injustice done by me or their Dad. They've both called me their best friend at different times in their life. It has been hard in these last few years watching them grow up, and inevitably away from me.
This year I watched my son enter the 11th grade, and I watched my daughter enter the 10th grade. Did you know I was in the 10th grade when I started dating Charlie? I was 15 and Charlie was 17. That is basically the age of my children today. Trevlyn will be 17 in November, and Beth turned 15 this past March. I want to caution them about rushing through life, but will they listen? I didn't. You know how teenagers think they know everything. Well I did know everything!! hahaha If I only knew then 1/2 as much as I know today.
I've prayed and asked the Lord to help me guide them. I want them to have the life that God intended for them. I don't want them to become sidetracked by, well what other word can I use to sum it all up but, SIN. My children are growing up, and making decisions that will shape the rest of their lives. Do you ever feel inadequate for this huge responsibility that God has given you as a parent? I sure do.
The Pioneer Woman had a question this past week about what your plans were for your life 20 years ago, and are you where you thought you'd be. Well, 20 years ago I was entering East Burke High School in Icard NC as a sophmore. I intended to go to college at Mars Hill, and become a high school choral teacher. I thought after college, and an established career that I would find a wonderful husband and we'd start a wonderful family. I wanted 4 children, 2 boys & 2 girls. Doesn't that sound like wonderful life!! hmmm, what happened? Don't get me wrong, I have had a wonderful life, but it wasn't at all what I had in mind. We'll save all that for another post...
well, I am just sitting here today with my cup of coffee, pondering life. I'm just a little sappy because I know my children are growing up. I only have 1 more first day of school with Trevlyn, and only 2 more with Beth. Why can't we roll back time, and keep them our babies forever? My baby sister is having her first child, and probably within 5 years I'll be having grandchildren. Hopefully not sooner!!! Her children and my grandchildren will grow up together. Isn't that odd?
Oh well, it's time for me to go to work. Housework I mean... I have clothes that need washed, floors that need swept, and bathrooms to clean. I've got to keep the doldrums at bay today. It may be hard, but I am going to do what Sandra said she did, I am going to turn on some music and dance as I clean!!!