Do you ever have bad dreams? I do! I've had them since I was a kid. Sometimes they are silly nightmares and then sometimes they seem like they really could come true. The ones that ring of reality are the ones that usually take a long time for me to forget.
Last night Charlie & Trevlyn went fishing overnight with some friends, and Beth & I were at home having a girls night! Of course, the boys stayed up all night fishing, but we just ordered in pizza and watched a movie. All was well until about 4 o'clock this morning. I woke up with my pillow drenched with tears. I was having a terrible dream!
I had dreamt of what could be my worse nightmare! Losing a family member to death. In my dream I had received a phone call to come to the hospital that my Mother had been in a wreck. I was thinking, is this deja'vu? When Charlie & I arrived at the hospital Mother was already gone. We looked at each other in shock. I asked him, How could this happen again? I wasn't ready for this. We can't lose Lethia & my Mother in the same year! I told him that I couldn't survive without either of them. They were my rocks! Who was I going to go to when I didn't know what to do with life? The dream went on in so much detail that it really seemed to be reality. When I awoke the first thing I thought was I need to call Brendia. Neither of us needed to be alone during this! It took me a few minutes to realize it was just a dream. I was crying and couldn't seem to stop. I stayed awake until about 5 and then finally drifted off to sleep. The dream started right back where I had left off. We were at the funeral home making decisions. It didn't take me long to wake myself back up again. From that point on I just stayed awake. Hours later and I can still remember in vivid detail every aspect of the dream.
I spent some time this morning talking to the Lord. I talked to him about trust, and being willing for his will in my life. That is really what this is all about. I need to trust the Lord and let him be my guide. He will always be there! Charlie & I have been praying about some tough decisions lately, and I know that is what brought this dream to life. I can't imagine not being near my Mother & my family anymore. I can't imagine not being able to see them at a moment's notice.
A preacher's family is subject to the Lord and to the church. Just like when I was a child if God led my Father to work at a different church from where we were then we moved. There was no delay. I know that I have been very fortunate that my husband hasn't felt the call to move as often as my Father did. However, I also know that if the Lord did call him to another church then he would follow the Lord's will. I know that God is in control, and I need to trust him.