Coffee

The 1st step in overcoming an addiction is admitting that you are an addict, right?  I think that's what the AA program says.  Anyways, to get to the point I am addicted to coffee!  I drink a minimum of 2 cups a day but most of the time more than that.  A few years ago I went to a nutritionist who helped me with my diet because of my toxin levels at that point I was drinking a pot of coffee a day!  I completely weaned myself from all coffee, caffeine, and food from a can.  Within 6 months I was eating all natural foods; fresh or frozen vegetables, fresh meats, etc.  Basically good for you foods.

I have slowly added coffee back into my diet.  I didn't think I was addicted like I was before because I'm certainly not up to my pot a day intake.  However this week I started a challenge with some friends of mine.  We are eating healthy fruits, vegetables, and lean meats.  Of course, we are only drinking water!  We have milk in our smoothies but basically water. I thought my biggest hurdle was going to be the food.  Our caloric intake per day is between 1300 & 1500 calories and we have to exercise for 30 minutes a day, but not so!

Today is only the second day and I am dying with a headache!  It's not the food I'm having a problem with.  As a matter of fact, I am full!  Can you believe it?  No, I am having coffee withdrawals.  My Keurig is sitting on my counter taunting me!  It's saying "You can have just one cup." "One cup surely won't hurt you." "Come on just do it."  I don't even drink sugar or cream in my coffee so what would it hurt?

My head is pounding and you may say no it's the food but I know what a caffeine withdrawal headache feels like.  It's definitely a headache derived from having no coffee for 2 days.  My last cup was on Sunday afternoon!  My wonderful or should I say normally wonderful husband is running away from me in fear that I might bite his head off.  I realize that anything that has you so addicted that you get a headache or are hateful when you do without it is not good for you!

So, I need your prayers.  I don't want anything to have that much of a hold over my life.  You may say, 'Geez, Krista it's just coffee. Get over it.;'  But really, I don't believe anything should have that much control over my life.  This diet thing we are doing is only for 10 days, but I am going to attempt to cut my coffee back to only casually drinking.  Not a daily I have to have it kind of thing forever.

There are so many good things can come out of this.  1st and foremost that coffee won't have control of me. 2nd - it will surely save us tons of money.  Those Keurig cups are so expensive!  3rd I will be more healthy.  So, as your drinking your cup of coffee remember me sitting here with shaking hands, and a roaring headache and say a little prayer for me!

~Blessings
Krista

Stress + Krista = Disaster

About this time last year my health problems started, and it was during a stressful time of my life too! I had a few problems with some friends, I quit working for my Dad, and then what happens...I start having major migraines! Okay, so stress is not my friend, and that is what the doctor said. Make sure you are getting at least 8 hours of sleep a night, eat properly (no skipping meals which I have a tendency to do), and remove stress from your life. Now just how do you do that? Remove stress from your life...if anyone has figured that out let me know!

I am looking forward to our vacation in 8 days! There are 16 of us going on a cruise. Ultimately that is a no stress situation, but leave it to me to make it stressful. Who else gets stressed out over making sure everything is packed, and that we have enough money to have a good time without overspending? AAARRRRGGGGHHHH Why can't anything just be simple in my mind? I think I am wired to make everything complicated! I don't intend to, it just happens. I start thinking of all the 'what if' factors. Like, 'what if' we can't fit all of our luggage in the vehicle? 'What if' we don't make it to the boat in time? 'What if' our passport cards don't get here before next Friday? Now Charlie knows my problem and has already made appropriate measures to ensure that none of these things will cause a problem. For instance, he made arrangements that we can put the luggage on top of the vehicle if the back isn't big enough. He wants to leave before 8pm, which should give us plenty of time to get to the port before 1pm the next day (it is a 12 hour drive). I checked with the cruise line, multiple times, and as long as we have our birth certificates and are leaving & returning to a US port than we don't even need our passports. Okay so everything is taken care of, right? NO, my mind just starts coming up with more potential 'what ifs'? I can't even let vacation be simple!

If Brendia is reading this she is probably rolling out of her chair laughing because she knows how OCD I am! I even made a packing spreadsheet to make sure I didn't forget anything. Guess What? I did, Brendia emailed me yesterday afternoon to tell me that I left off shaving cream! By the end of the week I would have been a woolly mammoth!

I need a mental vacation! Hopefully I will get one on Sunday. Our first day on the cruise is a day at sea! I can't wait. I have already told everyone that I am unavailable that entire day! I want to lay out in the sun or even just sleep in the room. Whatever it takes to relax, that is what I am doing!

Enough about vacation. Let's talk about my job. Most of you know that I started this job in December 2008. I work in a retail cell phone store in the mall. I do not work retail hours. I work Monday - Friday 8:30-5. I found out this week that my schedule is probably going to change. We are going to a new scheduling system that schedules everyone based on store needs and projected customer needs. Even though my job is not customer impacting, my job title is. I have a job title that doesn't relate to my actual job duties. The district manager is trying to get the back office sales support to be exempt from this new schedule but we don't know yet if this is going to be possible. There are 7 of us that do the same job in this district just in different stores. Our job was a trial thing and the other stores in the nation do not have a back office person. This could mean that I would have to work anytime that the store is open Sunday - Saturday pretty much 10am - 9pm. Of course Sundays are 12 - 6, but that still causes a problem. Then we were told that our job might even be phased out since the other stores do not have a position such as ours. Our position was created to increase efficiencies. We do most of the office management duties so the store manager can be on the sales floor increasing sales. If our district manager can't prove that we've increased efficiencies and sales are increased because of us then why do they need a back office person? The manager could go back to doing the paperwork before the store opens. They pay him a salary anyway, right?

So, Please pray for me and my job. I want the Lord's will. Charlie & I really need the second income to make our bills each month. While I would much rather be at home being a good housewife, the mountain that we've created must be crossed first. We have paid off a good amount of debt since I've been working but we still have more. I should know something for sure once I get back from vacation.

It makes me remember that God is in control. I AM NOT!! We are all in God's hands.

It happened again...

This past weekend our church held our annual minister's convention. It begins on Friday night, and goes through Sunday night. We always have a great time, but it is very tiring. The Friday night service is mostly singing, and just a short sermon. Saturday & Sunday we have 2 services each day. By the end of the Sunday night service we are all exhausted which gets me to the reason I am posting today.

Last night I became very sick during the service. Actually it happened at the very beginning of service. I started feeling dizzy, and then I felt almost like an explosion in my head. It felt like ants were crawling all over my head or a thousand needles. Then I couldn't feel my fingers or toes on my right side. I guess I could feel them, it just felt like needles or like they both went to sleep. I'm sure you all know how that feels. I sit there for a few minutes just trying to keep it together. I didn't want to lose it in front of 3000 people. My sister was sitting next to me and she began to realize something was wrong with me. Charlie was sitting on the rostrum with all the ministers but I tried to get his attention to let him know that I needed prayer! He saw me and looked at me funny. He later told me that he could tell something was wrong but he couldn't understand what I was saying. As I sit there I begin to feel nauseous then I felt like I had to go to the bathroom. I told my sister that I was going to try to get to the bathroom. She asked me if I wanted her to get Charlie. I think I said yes, but I'm not really sure. When I stood up I thought I was going to fall back down. I made my way past the people that were sitting on the pew and finally made it to the aisle. I didn't have far to walk to get out of the sanctuary but it felt like miles.

We made it to the bathroom without accident. I was barely walking, and I really felt like a drunk person. I was washing my hands and I heard Charlie in the hall asking where I was. I still couldn't feel my right foot or right hand. I walked out of the bathroom and when I saw him I started crying. He asked me what I wanted him to do, and all I could say was pray for me. I tried to tell him what was wrong but my words were slurring. He prayed for a long time, and I began to have feeling come back into my right side. I told him that I felt like I would be okay, and I wanted to go back into the church.

I sit through the remainder of the service trying to control my right side. I was involuntarily shaking, but only on that side. I held my arms crossed so that no one would notice or so I thought. Beth was on my left side and Brendia was on my right. At one point during the service Beth moved over and I almost fell. I didn't realize that I was leaning on her until then. I don't know how long the service lasted. I know that 2 preachers spoke but don't ask me what they spoke on because I have no idea. During the service I was talking quietly to myself. I just kept saying No, I will not be like ______ (another lady that has had seizures in our church), and No, I will no let this claim me! Later Brendia said that I was saying No, but that was it.

After the service was finally over, Charlie came down from the rostrum to get me. We were trying to get out of the church, but with over 3000 people it was difficult to do it quickly. There were also several people from all over the country that we really needed to tell bye because it will be months before we see them again. We made our way down the center aisle, and spoke to a couple of people. I talked to my brother from Florida and told him good bye. I sat down in a chair once while Charlie was talking to someone else. An older man that we know came by and spoke to Charlie and then to me. He walked on by me but then he came back. He told me that he felt like the Lord was going to heal my body, and that it was going to happen right then. I sat there for a couple more minutes and it was almost like a fog lifted off my head. Charlie quit talking and we walked on down the aisle. As we were walking down the aisle, Charlie's cousin walked up to me and hugged me. She also told me that she felt like the Lord was going to move for me. She said she hadn't ever prophesied to anyone before but she really felt like telling me that.

Several of my family stopped us to ask if I was okay. I told them I was feeling better and that we were going home. You see this is the same thing that happened to me last year and this is why I went to the neurologist. The doctor has diagnosed me with partial on-set seizures, but I refused to take the medication. I haven't had a "spell" since last July after the church elders anointed and prayed over me. My family was very worried about me. My daughter told me later that went I went out to the restroom that my face was white as a ghost. We made it home and I slept well last night without incident. For that I am grateful. I was afraid that once I went to sleep I would go into a full blown seizure but I didn't. I know that God was watching over me.

Today I am work. My right side is extremely sore. I feel like I've been lifting weights or something. I am a little dizzy today, but nothing that I can't handle. I am still believing in my miracle. I have Faith that God won't let me down. I will not let this take me over. Please pray for me and help me believe!

Headache!!!!

Today, I woke up with the one of the most horrendous headaches! It has been months since my head has hurt this bad. I think I slept wrong or something. When I woke up I could barely move my neck and the entire back of my head felt like it was going to explode! Charlie massaged it for me and then I took a hot shower to try to work out some of the tightness. It relieved it enough that I was able to go to work. Now, I just can't seem to get my thoughts focused. I have asked Charlie to pray, and I will ask you too. Please say a prayer for me that God will move this headache or just give me the strength to bear it.

There is a song that has been on my mind the past couple of weeks. It is called "It Didn't Come to Stay". The words are beautiful.

It Didn't Come to Stay

Sickness must be present for healing to take place

Lives must be broken so they can be restored

We must stop looking at our hard times like they are dead end roads

But avenues to prove that he is Lord!

It didn't come to stay it came to pass

The Lord will move that mountain if you ask

The trials that we see today won't last

It didn't come to stay it came to pass

If I should live by sight I would be beaten down

Because I can't see past these walls of circumstance

But faith will be my substance and my hope is in the Lord

And He will turn my sorrow into dance

Oh He will turn my sorrow into dance!

It didn't come to stay it came to pass
The Lord will move that mountain if you only ask
The trials that we see today won't last
It didn't come to stay it came to pass

Weeping may endure for the night

Oh but I'll find my joy tomorrow, tomorrow

It didn't come to stay it came to pass

The Lord will move that mountain if you only ask

The trials that we see today won't last

It didn't come to stay it came to pass

**After I wrote this post I searched through my old posts because I wanted to listen to a video that I knew that I had posted with The Isaacs singing It Is Well. I listened to the video, and then I just happened to scroll down and read the previous post. It made me think about everything that I've been through this year. How at the time I wrote the post I didn't know why I was having sleepless nights and waking up with headaches. I do know now, and last night was the first night that it has happened since the elders prayed for me this past summer. I know it was God that led me to read that entry. I will not give Satan the victory today! I will overcome. Also, take the time to read the Proverbs 31 devotional that I referenced that day.