Time keeps going on...

It's hard to believe how time flies.  Today is Monday and I'm sure most of us woke up this morning already anxious for the weekend.  It's frightening though when you have moments like I did today.

I was looking through old files and found a slideshow and a post from 2008 about my daughter, Elizabeth. That was 5 years ago, and she was only 15! In just a few weeks she'll be turning 20 and then in April she is going to Haiti for a mission trip.  She is my baby but in the last few years she has grown up.  Where did the time go?  Have I spent all my days wishing for them to pass so the weekend would come and not enjoying each day with my children?  Was I too busy to enjoy their lives?  I don't think so.  Of course I have regrets because I'm not perfect.  However I do think I've spent quality time with my kids as they've grown up.  Do I wish I could have spent more time or maybe time could have just stood still?  Yes, of course!

Five years from now she'll probably be married.  Maybe she'll have children of her own. Who knows?  I continue to pray that God guides her feet along the path that he has chosen for her.  She is a wonderful young lady and I know God has a calling on her life.  Who knows where he'll take her?

Read the following for a flashback to 2008

Mary Elizabeth's 15th Birthday

2008 Slideshow of Beth

~Blessings
Krista

The Story of a Father & His Daughter

A baby girl is born. Simultaneously, from amid the ranks of ordinary men, there emerges a mighty, courageous, gallant man who is quaking in his shoes. As they grow together, the girl comes to know that her father is no ordinary man.

He can hear the sound of the sun pushing the clouds out of her world, and he helps her to hear it, too. He can taste the worst cookies that she will make and then eat three or four more from the same batch. He can touch the stars and pull them closer to her. He can see the fire of youthful puppy love burning in her heart. No, this father is no ordinary man.

He has a body to shield his daughter from strangers, big dogs, and noisy things; a broad expanse of chest to nestle against; and an arm to pillow her head while watching television. He has two strong arms to hold her up to touch the sky, to see inside a bird's nest, or to fly like an airplane.

Fearlessly, this father and daughter adventure into the realms of surprise.
Together they open doors and share peeks at monsters; with him, she is never afraid. He is there for her first bike ride. He has flowers picked to tickle her nose, shaving cream dabbed on her face, and a goodnight kiss in the dark when he comes home late and thinks she is asleep.

In her teenage years, he teaches her to respect herself and others. He is always proud of her for trying new things; she doesn't always have to win. He is a wealth of truth in the midst of peer group untruths, an impatient driving instructor, and a light in the window at twelve o'clock on a Friday night.

He is the firm cornerstone of the family who gives her values to believe in, a heritage she feels worthy of, and an urgency for living her life completely.

Now, in her adulthood, he could slow down a bit, but he won't. He still utilizes his many resources to teach his daughter well, and somehow his mere presence continues to trigger the potential in her. So what does a daughter say to this man of subtle sensitivities and infinite wisdom?
She says this... "I love you, Daddy"

~ Author Unknown

Blogging

Wow! Has it really been since Trevlyn's birthday that I've posted? I very rarely use the computer at home anymore. As a matter of fact the only time I am online is when I am using my iPhone! I wish that I could blog directly from my phone, but I haven't found an app for that!

I still visit your blogs often via google reader. It is a little difficult to post so I am now more of a stalker than blogger...

Well, life is about the same. We are a very busy family right now with a high school senior. There are so many events that I don't want to miss. I wish there was someway to record every little detail. I am so afraid that I am going to overlook something and then have regrets.

Trevlyn is still playing high school basketball. He is actual PLAYING this year not just sitting on he bench! It is so much fun to watch him play. He is so intense, and he reminds me so much of his Dad. When Charlie and I first married we were just teenagers. Many Friday nights would find us at the recreation center. Charlie playing pick up ball, and me in the stands cheering him on.

Life goes so fast...

I'll try to post a little more from time to time. Tonight I decided to post while I was waiting on the washer to finish spinning. I just heard it stop so it is time for me to go! A Mother's work is never done!

Upper Classmen

First Day of School 2006-2007 Trevlyn was a Freshman & Beth was in 8th grade. Isn't it cute how they dressed alike? They didn't realize it until I took this picture! It was a good thing they were still in different schools then!

First Day of School 2007-2008 Trevlyn was a Sophmore & Beth was a freshman. This picture was taken as they were getting ready to walk down the steps to school. Can you tell they are embarrassed?

We don't have a 2008-2009 picture because they decided they were too old for me to be taking 1st day of school pictures! So sad...:(

What?? This is what my daughter said to me last night. She said "Mom, do you realize that as of today both of your children are officially upper classmen?"

No, I refuse to believe it! My babies are still my babies. It just seems like yesterday that they were born. I can still remember my pregnancies and their births in vivid detail. How could this be? Trevlyn will be a senior, and is turning 18 in November. Beth will be a junior, and just turned 16 in March.

Can we stop time? There are so many things that I wanted to do with them before they were grown. I still have so many things on my list. I know they aren't leaving and will probably still live with us while they are in college. (because I refuse to let them go off to college) Overprotective? MUCH!! However, I know things are going to be different. They are already making so many decisions on their own. I just want to say, please don't forget about your dear Mom & Dad! You still love us remember? We are cool too! You don't have to spend all your time with CHARLIE EMERT!!!!!

Charlie is a great young man, but both of my children would rather spend time with him than with us! I am a little jealous, can you tell? Really I would rather they spend time with him than with some of their school friends! I just miss them wanting to spend time with me.

I miss my babies!

Opening Up

Since my 1 year anniversary just passed, I have been thinking about the direction that I've taken this blog in. I was going through many trials when I first started the blog, both financial & health issues. I wanted a place that I could share my feelings & struggles without condemnation. I needed friends that would lift me up when I was down, and pray for me when I needed it. I've realized that I haven't opened up very much about my feelings, and as things in life became harder I actually closed up! I want to share something with you that happened this weekend. Believe me it shows how human that I am. I was reading this blog today and it encouraged me to open up.

So, here goes. First a little background...Charlie & I have decided that we are going to try the Dave Ramsey plan, again. Yes, we've done this before but it never works. For one reason or another we just can't do it. For instance, we have decided we are going to go through with the envelope system, snowballing our debts, etc, but we are still planning our vacation this year. Actually our vacation is already almost paid for. Now, Dave Ramsey would have said to take that money and pay off some of your bills, right? Yes, that is right, but we justified in our minds that we need a vacation. Okay, so next we also said we'd only go out to eat on Sunday afternoons after church. That way we can go with our church family and spend time with them. Okay so here's the story. This past weekend we went out as a family on Saturday so we decided we wouldn't go out on Sunday. Now, in my head I knew this, but my heart wasn't going along with it. Sunday afternoon comes and my son mentions going to Ci-Ci's pizza to eat lunch. It would be cheap, he says, and it has been a long time since we've been there. My wonderful head of the household says No, we've already decided. Yes, when I say we, I mean we, We try to make this a family decision so everyone knows the reason why and no one can argue. Well, my belly thought it sounded good too. I didn't really want to go home and eat leftovers. I wanted something different, and I didn't want to cook. Needless to say the discussion became heated. Yes, it was in front of our children. There was a lot of you don't stand behind me, and well you don't care what I want... It was horrible. Even as I am writing this, I am ashamed. We made it home. Charlie told the kids to go in the house, and we stayed in the truck to "talk". It ended rather blandly. Charlie just said this discussion is over, and got out of the truck. I being upset, went where I always go when I'm upset, WALMART. I ran away. I couldn't even look at him. I was ashamed, hurt, and mad. I felt like such a kid, I mean why couldn't we go to Ci-Ci's!

I came back home after a couple of hours, and then around 4:30 we went back to church for choir practice & evening service. Charlie & I are good fakers. We still hadn't spoken and I don't guess anyone knew any difference. Our kids were just being quiet, and watching. I'm sure they were thinking a volcano was going to erupt at any minute. We had a wonderful service, and I began to feel absolutely horrible about the things I had said. I knew in my heart that I had been disrespectful to my husband, and my children. What a stupid argument!?!? I am the one who wanted to do the financial makeover in the first place, and he was just making sure that I followed through. At church that night we went to the alter together, our entire family. I could hear Charlie praying about uniting our hearts, and not letting Satan destroy what God had given us. See we've not always had a perfect marriage. When we have arguments we tend to bring up things from the past, and if you've ever been to marriage counseling than you know that is a no-no! I knew that I was the one that was wrong, and I owed my husband an apology. But more than that, I needed his forgiveness. On our way home from church I asked him to forgive me, and I asked the kids to forgive me too. I wanted them to understand that what I had done was not right, and it was silly & stupid. Of course, Charlie said he would forgive me but then he did something I'll never forget. He asked me to forgive him for being dramatic. You may think that is funny or odd, but if you knew my husband you'd understand. He said he blew it out of proportion, and we were both at fault.

So the moral of the story is just like the picture says at top, it may be hard, but the Husband is the Head of the House! Don't let your children come between you! Stand united together!

You don't appreciate what you have

Until you don't have it anymore.

I never thought that I would say this, but I miss being just a housewife. I didn't work outside the home for almost 9 months last year. Financially it was extremely hard. Our outgoing was more than our incoming almost every month. The stress of paying the bills was almost more than I could handle, and it was definitely more than Charlie could handle. We didn't have a lost of extras. Any discretionary expenses were cut down to almost nothing. Then you think about those things that we did have. The house was always clean. The laundry was always done. Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner were made by ME! I felt more of a sense of accomplishment doing those things than I have ever felt working in a 9-5 job, even when I made 6 figures!

So, now we have money to pay our bills, and we can go out to eat every once in a while, but I miss being at home. I miss being there when my kids needed me or Charlie needed me. I miss sewing, cooking, and Yes, even cleaning! We may not ever be to the place where I could stay at home without any income, but I will say that it was an experience that I'll never forget.

I envy those of you who are SAHM, and home school your children. I don't envy you, as some do, because "you don't have to work", we all know that is not true! I envy you because your work is so much more rewarding than just a paycheck!

Some say well, Krista, you can have it all! You can work, keep a clean house, have the laundry done, cook supper, and be there for your husband & kids when they need you. I say, "Do I look like SuperWoman?" My house is clean, we have clean clothes to wear, and I cook supper, but it just doesn't feel the same, and I am always tired! Now it just feels like I have 2 jobs.

Oh well, the moral of the story is...Be happy with what God gives you. If you are always unsatisfied then you'll always be looking for more. Sometimes you are right where God wants you, and doing what God wants you to do. It may not be what you want, but it is what God wants. Charlie & I have talked and we are going to try to pay off our debt with my earnings. That may take years... Who knows maybe I'll be a Stay at Home Grandma or Aunt! I wouldn't mind being either one because I love babies so I'll leave you with the newest pics of Baby Isaac! These were just taken on Sunday. He is in the 90th percentile for both weight and height. He is 17 lbs and 26 inches long! He'll be 4 months old on Feb. 22, 2009.

A Wonderful Weekend

This past weekend was very eventful!

Friday night I took Beth Ice Skating. She started ice skating lessons a couple of weeks ago, and she is able to attend one free public skating session per week. Believe it or not, she is a natural. Beth takes after me in the fact that she is very clumsy, but when she gets on the ice she is very graceful!

On Saturday, I worked the UT game with our church then on Sunday morning me & the kids rode down to Dalton GA with some friends of ours for our national church convention. Charlie drove down on Friday because the convention actually started on Friday night so we met up with him there. I had the opportunity to see my brother, his wife, and children. Their new baby is absolutely a doll. This picture is of him, in my lap, isn't he just cutest baby you've ever seen? No, I didn't pose this picture...He was sleeping that way!

While in Dalton, I had the opportunity to see Val my real life and blog friend! We've known her family for many years now, but we don't have the opportunity to see each other very much. I wish I'd thought to take a picture of us together, but I didn't! Maybe next time!

We went out to eat on Sunday night with my niece and her husband to our favorite Mexican restaurant, Garcia's! As we were sitting at the table my children decided that I looked pretty good that night. It is really funny how it happened. We were talking about my blog, and the kids said I needed a new picture. The one I have posted is several years old, so they decided to take my picture.

To me I just look tired! I felt like my four hours of sleep on Saturday night was exhausted!

We stayed in Dalton until Monday because Charlie's dad was having surgery on Monday morning. He was having surgery to remove 7 skin cancers from his face and neck. The surgery was scheduled to be out-patient, but we didn't know for sure how it was going to turn out. The doctor was concerned over one of the cancers. It appeared that it had grown in to the bone instead of out like the others. Well, everything went perfectly! The doctor was able to get everything. We all left the doctor's office about 9:30am and went to Shoneys! Yes, you know it... we all love to eat. **Update-Charlie talked to his Dad last night and he hasn't even had to take any of the pain medicine!

This is a picture of the kid's with the grandparents!

After we got home on Monday we didn't do anything. I mean nothing. We all slept most of the remainder of the day. But the real world came knocking on our door on Tuesday morning! Charlie was off to work and the kids were off to school. I was off to my sewing machine. I finished this blanket yesterday. I'm not sure who I am going to give it to, but it will be a present for somebody. We have several ladies that are pregnant in our church, and so far 3 of them are having boys!

WOW...As I am sitting here writing this post...I hear snip, crackle, crash, BAM!!! then the dogs start barking like crazy. I rush upstairs to see what has happened! I look out the window and this is what I see...

We have 4 trees in our back yard. The one that you see is dead! I called Charlie to let him know and his first question was "Did the tree fall on the house?" Isn't it funny that he knew why I was calling? I told him NO, it didn't fall on the house, but we have procrastinated long enough. It is time for that tree to come down on our terms! We will be having a chainsaw party at our house this weekend if anyone is interested!

My Children

When Charlie and I first got married almost 18 years ago, I said I didn't want to have children, or at least not right away. I come from a large family and all but one of my siblings is younger than me. I wanted some time in my life without little children around or so I thought. Well, needless to say God didn't have that in the arrangements 13 months after getting married my son, Trevlyn arrived. Then 16 months later my daughter, Beth arrived. I guess I am one of the people in that 1% chance where birth control pills just don't work. I was taking birth control when I got pregnant with both of them. In 1995 when I had to have a hysterectomy the doctor said that it was a miracle that I had carried children at all. I've always believed my children are miracles.

I have often treated them as little angels. Probably, Okay definitely not disciplining them enough. My siblings say that I talk them to death! Yes, I have conversations with my children. We talk about their problems, their concerns, even their anger or what they think is an injustice done by me or their Dad. They've both called me their best friend at different times in their life. It has been hard in these last few years watching them grow up, and inevitably away from me.

This year I watched my son enter the 11th grade, and I watched my daughter enter the 10th grade. Did you know I was in the 10th grade when I started dating Charlie? I was 15 and Charlie was 17. That is basically the age of my children today. Trevlyn will be 17 in November, and Beth turned 15 this past March. I want to caution them about rushing through life, but will they listen? I didn't. You know how teenagers think they know everything. Well I did know everything!! hahaha If I only knew then 1/2 as much as I know today.

I've prayed and asked the Lord to help me guide them. I want them to have the life that God intended for them. I don't want them to become sidetracked by, well what other word can I use to sum it all up but, SIN. My children are growing up, and making decisions that will shape the rest of their lives. Do you ever feel inadequate for this huge responsibility that God has given you as a parent? I sure do.

The Pioneer Woman had a question this past week about what your plans were for your life 20 years ago, and are you where you thought you'd be. Well, 20 years ago I was entering East Burke High School in Icard NC as a sophmore. I intended to go to college at Mars Hill, and become a high school choral teacher. I thought after college, and an established career that I would find a wonderful husband and we'd start a wonderful family. I wanted 4 children, 2 boys & 2 girls. Doesn't that sound like wonderful life!! hmmm, what happened? Don't get me wrong, I have had a wonderful life, but it wasn't at all what I had in mind. We'll save all that for another post...

well, I am just sitting here today with my cup of coffee, pondering life. I'm just a little sappy because I know my children are growing up. I only have 1 more first day of school with Trevlyn, and only 2 more with Beth. Why can't we roll back time, and keep them our babies forever? My baby sister is having her first child, and probably within 5 years I'll be having grandchildren. Hopefully not sooner!!! Her children and my grandchildren will grow up together. Isn't that odd?

Oh well, it's time for me to go to work. Housework I mean... I have clothes that need washed, floors that need swept, and bathrooms to clean. I've got to keep the doldrums at bay today. It may be hard, but I am going to do what Sandra said she did, I am going to turn on some music and dance as I clean!!!

A New Baby

Congratulate us! Purchase baby paraphernalia in pink and blue! Order a cake with a stork on it! Buy a gift card to Babies-R-Us! Listen for the "pitter-patter" of little feet! Yes, we are adding another to the clan! I think this will be grandchild #17 for my Mother. WooHoo, A baby is coming!

No, I'm not going to be a mother again! It is much more exciting than that... I am going to be an "AUNT" again...! But, the anticipation for this niece or nephew has been building for years, so the excitement is almost uncontainable!

My sister is having a baby! Brendia is my baby sister. I am 8 years older, and sometimes that has felt like a lifetime. When I got married she was only 9. My husband to her is like an older brother. He used to read to her when we dated. Charlie & I would be sitting on the couch and she crawl in between us, look up at Charlie with those big blue eyes, and say "Will you please read this to me?" It was always some Dr. Seuss book that she had memorized anyway. She could already read herself. She just wanted his attention.

Brandon & Brendia have been married for 6 years in May. Unlike most children that are the youngest, she is very goal oriented. She had a plan, and for the most part she has adhered to that plan. She knew that she wanted to finish college, have most of her bills paid off, and buy a house before they had children. Well, college is done, she has an associate degree in business management. She owes very little, if nothing, except for their car. Their house is being built and will be done in about 2 months. Now the baby is due on October 23, 2008!

Brandon was called "Cookie" in highschool, so I am officially calling the baby "little cookie" until they decide on a name. We can no longer call the baby I.T. Cookston!

I cannot tell you how I have been planning for this child that is not mine. I cannot wait to buy completely purposeless gifts for him/her! My husband told me this weekend that I'd have to get a second job so I could pay for all the things that I want to buy for the "little cookie". I cannot wait to encourage "little cookie" to do all the things Brandon & Brendia do not want him/her to do! I cannot wait to tell embarrassing stories that begin with the words, "When your mother was a little girl..." I cannot wait to hear the words, "Let's go see Aunt Krista & Uncle Charlie! They let us eat ice cream, stay up past our bed-time, and jump on the bed. Their fun!" Because that is what my kids have always said about Brandon & Brendia.

Only another 28 weeks left! Ugh! I'm telling you, I CANNOT WAIT...

My Daughter's Birthday

A special young lady in my life turns 15 today. I woke up this morning thinking about that Thursday 15 years ago, when March 18 forever changed for me. I'll rehearse it here for you.

From the time that we learned we were having a baby girl, I wanted to name her after my grandmother, Mary Dell Condra and Charlie's mother, Lethia Elizabeth Singleton. Our daughter's name would be Mary Elizabeth Singleton. My grandmother was so much to me. I called her Mama. She lived with us off and on from the time I was 4 years old until she passed away when I was 16. She died on March 18, 1990. So, to make it simple on March 18, 1993 I was a little depressed. I had a doctor's appt at 9:00 that morning. I took my husband to work(he met the crew at Myer's carpet in Dalton & drove to Atlanta) then went to the doctor. The midwife I was seeing immediately noticed a problem so she called in the doctor. The doctor said he thought the baby was in distress, and he wanted to do a stress test immediately. I spent the next hour by myself contemplating the worst. After that hour they said I had to go to the hospital and they would meet me there. They didn't want me to go home or anything. I was in danger of losing my baby. So, being the 18 year old kid that I was, I became almost hysterical. I didn't know how to get in touch with Charlie because he was on his way to Atlanta. The doctor's office put in a call to the customer's home so they could tell him to come back to Dalton immediately.

Okay, so to put in all in context. I am 18 years old, 2 hours away from my mother, 2 hours away from my husband, my baby is in distress, and this is the anniversary of my grandmother's death. I didn't tell you that my grandfather also died on March 18, 1977. This day couldn't get any worse.

After arriving at the hospital, which only had power off a generator because of the great blizzard of '93, I was stuck in a little hole of a room to be monitored. The doctor wanted to do an immediate C section, but I wouldn't let him. I was too scared, and all alone. So, they made me sign a waiver stating if the baby died I wouldn't hold them liable. The only person I knew I could call was my mother. She is a godly woman, and I knew she could pray. I didn't feel like I could pray because we had quit going to church about 3 years prior. They hooked me up to all kinds of machines, and basically wouldn't let me move for fear that the baby's heart would quit beating and they wouldn't know it. According to the machines, I was having contractions but I couldn't feel them. Everytime I would have a contraction the baby's heartbeat would go down to between 20-30.

About 1:30, Charlie finally gets to the hospital. When he walked in I started crying. It was actually the first time I had cried all day. I just knew we were going to lose our baby. I really thought March 18 had some kind of curse on it or something. About 4:00 my mother arrived. I could hear her praying the entire time she was in the waiting room. Charlie finally got the doctor to let me get up and walk around. That caused the labor to really intensify. I started feeling the contractions and believe it or not I started dilating. At 6:30 that evening, my wonderful daughter was born, completely natural, I might add. She was healthy, no problems at all! So, Beth forever changed March 18th for me. I still remember my grandmother & grandfather on this day, but it isn't with the great sadness that it used to be.

Today, I want to tell my wonderful daughter lots of things. How proud I am of her. How "special" she is.

How she has blossomed into a beautiful and elegant young woman.

I want to explain to her that it's tough being 15. That the people can sometimes be cruel, that she needs to keep her head up and walk proud and respect herself, and have enough confidence and wisdom to respect the choices she makes.

I want to tell her that it's OK to make mistakes. That we learn from mistakes. That mistakes can make us better people. And if we live life afraid of being wrong, or making a mistake, that we never grow.

I want to tell her all about how in life, there are always choices, and that it is these choices that define us, that build our character, that make us who we are.

I want to tell her how much she means to me, and how I love her.

Happy Birthday, Mary Elizabeth, you are my baby girl!

Out of the Mouth of Babes

I'm sure that you've all heard that statement used. Well, It never has been more true to me than the other day. My daughter, yes my baby, was reading my new blog. When she finished reading she said "Mom, you've got it all wrong! You don't say, When Life Gives you Lemons, Make Lemonade! You should say, When Life Gives you Lemons, Make Grape Juice and let people wonder how you did it!"

So, I started thinking about that. She took something that I say and made it her own. It is still all about taking a problem and making something good out of it. I am very open and honest with my children. I guess that comes from having them so young. I told them yesterday that I wanted them to know my mistakes so they wouldn't make the same ones. My brilliant son said "But Mom, we may still do the same things that you did not because we want to make a mistake but because we think maybe if we changed one thing then there will be a different outcome." So, that goes back to me making lemonade and Beth making grape juice! We all have different ways of coping with problems and adversities, but we should all try to turn it around and create an opportunity.