Goodbye 2020 - Hello 2021

Everyone is screaming goodbye to 2020 because yes, it has been a year full of craziness, but all I can think about is 2020 is the last year you were alive! I miss you! 

Where Did Your Smile Go?

Val over at Our Forever Farm encouraged me to start writing my blog again. Not for anyone else but for me. I don’t know how often I’ll be able to write and my posts may be a little morose. 

I’ll go into when I have more time but sometimes life just stinks. Sometimes you get lemons and no matter how much you try the lemonade you make is just sour. That’s where I am. I want to be happy. I want to have joy. BUT I also just want to crawl into my bed, pull the covers over my head, and pretend life is not going on without my Mother. 

I AM SAD! Someday I will have a smile again. 

Life Changes but Also Stays the Same

Sunrise from My Kitchen Window

Three years have passed and WOW has life changed!  I have experienced extreme grief and extreme happiness.  I was reading back over my blog posts from years gone by today and thought about how life changes but so many things stay the same.  The one constant is God!


I have always been a positive person, hence the name of my blog, When Life Gives You Lemons...Make Lemonade!  Not to say that my life isn't full of sour lemons, but I have the sweetener (my positive attitude).  However, the last three years have been very sour and at times I have not reacted with a positive attitude.   My Mother always taught us this saying "Everything's Going to be All Right."  That was her answer anytime we brought her a hard situation.  We knew she would pray and everything would be all right! 


As I was reading through old blog posts I found this quote "FEAR is Forgetting Everything's All Right!"  I realized as I was reading it that for the last three years I have allowed myself to be consumed by fear.  Fear of the unknown and fear of the known. 


I hear an echo today "Fret Not, Krista."  Today my heart is hurting as it seems to when I think of my Dad who passed away in November 2017.  He always knew just what to say to encourage me! 


One day everything really will be alright and until then I'll keep holding on.  Even though we can't stop the lemons from falling, we can determine a better way in which we handle those lemons!  I am going to dig deep and find the sweet spot of life, and that is in God! 

I Don’t Know the Future, but I Know Who Holds It

The last few months, really almost a year now, I have struggled with lots of things; health, finances, family issues, just so many things.  It seems like peace has been hard to find and I've really had to learn to trust in God.  So many things that we just don't know how are going to work out but know that we serve an Almighty God that won't let us go.  Today I was having a particularly bad day and have reminded myself so many times to trust, let go, let God.  Basically a resounding pep talk all day long and this comes up in my FB news feed.  I started to share then I changed my mind.  I posted something earlier today on FB and have since had countless messages and text messages asking if I was okay.  I still wanted to share though and it came to me...share on your blog.  Someone might read it and if not you might need it later.  So here goes... written by Tracie Miles on Proverbs 31 Ministries.

"Then said the Lord unto Moses, Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a certain rate every day, that I may prove them, whether they will walk in my law, or no."  Exodus 16:4

I had barely slept as the worries in my heart grew bigger and bigger in the darkness. When the sunshine finally peeked through my window, I immediately began to pray. I poured out my heart to God and dumped all of my concerns at His feet.

But as I continued praying, I began to notice a pattern. No matter what circumstance or concern I shared with God, they all seemed to share one underlying theme — the fear of lack of provision.

You see my personal circumstances had changed, and suddenly my future was not as secure as it once seemed. I felt God convicting my heart with the need to stop fearing the unknown and start trusting Him with the unknown. Then I heard a gentle whisper in my spirit saying, “I alone am your Provider.”

With eyes closed and tears threatening to emerge, I nodded my head, “Yes, Lord. You are. Forgive me for doubting Your provision. I seek Your peace and ask You to take away the fears gripping my heart. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know You hold my future. Amen.”

I opened my eyes and felt Jesus nudging me to have some time alone in His Word, so I picked up my phone and clicked on the app where I read one of my daily devotions. Immediately, hot tears pushed through my eyes as I realized the devotion was echoing the prayer I had just prayed minutes earlier. It specifically addressed the fears for provision I had just shared with God. In fact, it was nearly word for word. God had heard the cries of my heart, and He wasted no time reassuring me He was listening.

The devotion was based on today’s key verse in Exodus where God provided for His people in a miraculous way. It was designed to bring them closer to Him, as they were forced to trust Him for their provision on a daily basis.

I read about how the people of Israel had looked everywhere but “up” for their needs to be met. They’d been slaves to the Egyptians, and after God set them free, they had to fully trust Him for all of their needs. The slaves were physically free but still mentally enslaved to their habit of looking for provision from people and things.

I thought about where I usually looked for provision, and none of them were “up.” I looked to my job. I looked to my husband. I looked to my checkbook or my savings account. I looked to my goals and dreams. I looked to my relationships. But now life was changing, and God was calling me to look to Him.

Then I read further in the passage to Exodus 16:8 which says, “And Moses said, This shall be, when the Lord shall give you in the evening flesh to eat, and in the morning bread to the full; for that theLord heareth your murmurings which ye murmur against him: and what are we? your murmurings are not against us, but against the Lord.” (KJV).

Ouch. I had been doing a lot of complaining and sharing my concerns. I realized my complaints were not only to my Provider, but against my Provider. The One who had always provided for me in the past, and He would continue to do so in the future, even if I didn’t know exactly how.

After reading the devotion and thanking God for reminding me He was my Provider, I felt a wave of peace. Admitting my need for God and trusting Him as my Jehovah-Jireh, lightened my heart and changed my perspective from that day forward.

I still may not know what the future holds, but I know Who holds my future. And He has your future in His hands, too.

Lord, I have been feeling enslaved to my thoughts of worry and doubt and I seek Your forgiveness. Help me remember You alone are the One who will provide for all of my needs — physical, spiritual and emotional. Help me recognize the sweet ways You are raining down manna each day and to trust You alone with the future. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
Philippians 4:19, “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus..” (KJV)

RELATED RESOURCES:
The devotion that Tracie Miles read when she encountered God’s voice was from the free Proverbs 31 Ministries First 5 devotional app. It will transform your time with God as you give Him the first 5 minutes of every day. Join us for the study of Acts on the First 5 app, beginning April 25! Get the Acts Experience Guide here.

If you want to grow closer to God and trust Him with your past and your future, you’ll be inspired by Tracie’s book, Your Life Still Counts: How God Uses Your Past To Create A Beautiful Future.

REFLECT AND RESPOND:
What provisional needs have you been most stressed about?

How might committing to trust God as your Jehovah-Jireh bring peace to your heart today?

He Will Make the Flowers Bloom!

The sun will shine again, the flowers will bloom again, the trees will have leaves again, the sun will shine again! 

This last year and specifically the last 6 months have been very hard on our family.  My step-father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Charlie was sick for about 3 months with an infection in his lungs.  With Charlie sick we had a very limited income.  I wondered if the flowers would ever bloom again.  It seemed like depression was a very close friend but I had to stay positive.  I couldn't let this storm rock my world.  Charlie, who is always positive, has showed signs of depression too.  

The last month though has been better.  Charlie is almost working full-time again.  He is up to about 85% capacity.  I can still see that he has trouble breathing from time to time but not anything like the way he was before!  I can see a brighter day in our life.  As I look out my window this morning I can see that the leaves on the trees are beginning to appear, the dandelions are abundant in my yard, and the tulips are blooming!  God is always good!  

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

~Blessings

Krista

One Year and One Month

Who knew?  Facebook has won...

I think about blogging and then I remind myself that no one reads this page.

1 year ago...

It is hard for me to believe that I haven't written on this blog in over 1 year.  I used to post religiously.  Well that is an exaggeration.  Not religiously but often.  Okay, maybe not even often but sometimes.  The point is I've never went an entire year without writing.  I can blame it on lots of things going on in my life; school, managing the business, babysitting, etc.  However, when it comes down to it I just didn't make the time.

The past few days I've thought a lot about this blog.  I need a place to write down some of my thoughts.  I thought about starting a journal then my mind would drift back to this blog!  I am going to attempt to write more often.  I know my followers are nonexistent and that is okay!  I just want to write what I feel without fear of judgement.  So, this is me.  I'm putting myself back out there, coming out of my box, and letting go!

I am going to re-share a post that I wrote a year ago and it describes me to a T...

~Blessings,
Krista