I'm sure that this app has been around for a while but I just found it. I am really excited that I can start blogging again. I don't have a home computer anymore and that is why my blog posts have been so infrequent. I hope that this will help me get back into the habit of blogging. It might take me a few days to get used to it!! I've been following all my friends blogs through google reader but it is so hard to post a comment. I am going to search for a blog reader app too. Surely there is one out there...
Monday, June 13, 2011
My Baby Boy
Life goes on. The babies you once held tight become adults. The toddler that begged you not to let go of their hand now is that young adult who wants you to let go. The little boy who walked off the field holding back his tears until he saw his Mother is now walking away from his Mother as she holds back her tears.
You raise them to be independent adults, but I don’t think it is ever easy to let them go. I know we’ve taught him right, and now it is time for him to walk on his own. I was thinking this morning of the first steps he took and how we held his hands as he teetered. At only 9 months he walked, not just walked but ran! At 2 he could ride a bicycle without training wheels. I should have known then that he would want to live on his own at a young age. He wants to make his own path. Understandable, isn’t that what we all want? Why then is it so hard to let go?
Last night, Trevlyn asked his Dad & I to sit down and talk with him. He had an important decision to discuss with us. He was such an adult about it all. He had everything lined out. When we first sat down I asked him if we were going to have an Amway presentation. He had his computer out, a folder, and jokingly said he needed to go get his HDMI cable so he could connect it to the TV and let us see his presentation. My baby boy then told us that he had toured apartments and found one that he thought he could afford. He had a spreadsheet of everything he would need from towels, pots & pans, to decorations and furniture. The costs of each were totaled. He had his monthly budget calculated with rent, utilities, and even his entertainment which consists of cable/internet so he can play his PS3. His original date was August 1st. I felt like my heart broke, but I held back the tears. If I’ve been successful raising him then he should be a successful adult, right? Then he tells us that after much prayer he would like to move that out 1 year. He would then be able to save the money each month and move out with a considerable savings. I slowly picked up the pieces of my heart.
I didn’t sleep much last night. The fear that I’ve lived with the last few years made a very strong reappearance last night. What if he doesn’t make it on his own? What if the apartments catch on fire? What if he doesn’t make it home at night? How will I know? I can’t imagine the first night he doesn’t sleep under my roof, but in his own apartment. I probably won’t sleep that night either! I had to remind myself throughout the night that God is not the God of fear, and we are his children. God is much better at taking care of his children than I am!
I remember when I was pregnant with him at the age of 17. I remember thinking this baby will always love me. This will be the one person in this world who will always love me unconditionally. He would fight for me and has. The first few years of our marriage weren’t the best. Charlie & I argued a lot! Trevlyn would always stand in front of me & yell at his Dad to stop. He never wanted us to argue. He has always been my little warrior!
When he was about eight he went through a phase where he had a hard time dealing with his emotions. He had a lot of built up anger and didn’t know how to vent. The school called me in for a conference. He had discussed with his counselors at length why he had so much anger. Most of it stemmed from the early years of our marriage. You would never believe that what you do in front of your toddler will impact them, but it does! I didn’t know what to do. Of course the school wanted me to take him to a child psychologist and they would put him on medication. By this time Charlie & I were both going to church and trying to live our life for the Lord. I remember calling my Mother as I drove down Red Bud Rd. I was squalling because I felt like I had let down my child. I had caused this to happen, and now I didn’t know what to do. I’ll never forget my Mother’s words. She said “Krista, give him to the Lord, and let God take care of him.” I did that on that day. I gave my child back to the Lord who had given him to me. From that day forward, God changed my child’s heart.
Trevlyn now lives his life for the Lord. He is a very tender hearted, compassionate young man. He’s not perfect, but he’s my baby boy! We always say those are shoulder blades not angel’s wings. I’m sure he’ll make mistakes. We all do. I know he has a great work for the Lord. God has an anointing on his life. I have already seen where his life has impacted others. I will continue to pray, as I always have, that God will keep a hedge of protection around him that Satan will not destroy him. I told him last night, as I have many times over his lifetime, that as long as he keeps God as his number one priority then he can do anything that he wants to.
Therefore also I have lent him to the LORD; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the LORD. And he worshipped the LORD there. 1 Samuel 1:28
Monday, April 4, 2011
I wish that I could fly away...
On the wings of a great golden bird
To a place where there are no unhappy days
And there are no unhappy words
Standing alone in a storm of life
Without any way to turn
Tears are falling down like rain
From the lessons that I have learned
Yea, I wish that I could fly away
To a land beyond this pain
And lay my dreams on a mountain top
And wash my mind in the rain
Words by Frank Dycus
Psalms 55:6 And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest.
Sometimes life becomes unbearable and human nature says run away or hide from the problems. We all know as adults that is impossible. Your problems don’t go away because you pretend they are not there. The song above was written about love & heartbreak, but that isn’t what I am writing about today. I am writing about those problems that seem insurmountable. Whether it be grief over the death of a loved one, sickness, financial problems, or heartbreak.
The last few years it seems that it has been one problem after another in our life. I have been taught that there is only one place you can run, and that is into the arms of God. He will comfort you when it seems that no comfort is to be found. When the fear of life has you in a death grip ask God to take away the fear and pain. When you actually think about it, life is frightening. God didn’t promise that we would never feel pain or heartache, but he did promise that he would never leave us alone.
I’ve always had a fear in my life of being left alone; that the people I love the most would just disappear out of my life. Sometimes death takes your loved ones but more often than not we just get so wrapped up in our lives that we become out of sight out of mind. If it isn’t someone that we see or talk to on a daily basis then they get pushed to the backburner. I don’t let many people get close to me because of that fear. I keep only a few close because I just couldn’t bear it if I lost someone that I love.
I thought that I had almost overcome that fear and then Charlie’s parents died. The first few months after their death I was afraid every time my children left my sight that I wouldn’t see them again. I would panic and my heart would race until they made it back home. Then I started worrying about my own parents. I know that life is not meant to last forever, and my parents are getting older. Eventually they will die, and I know that, but I can’t bear the thought. Charlie tells me that we shouldn’t be afraid of death because that is are only transportation to Heaven, and I’m not afraid of my own death. I simply don’t want my family to die!
Yesterday we went to Dalton and visited Charlie’s brothers. We met out at the cemetery, and I planted flowers in the vases at the tombstone. They kept asking me why I wanted real flowers and not silk like was on all the other tombstones. Loyd always tried to teach me how to plant a garden, and I just never could get it right. One time he & I planted two tomato plants at my house. I tended them just like he told me. I grew the prettiest plants you’ve ever seen, but I never had one tomato on those plants. He would just laugh every time he would see them. Lethia would bring home the Easter lilies from the Easter Memorial Service, plant them in her yard, and just as pretty as you please those flowers would come back the next year. Not me! My lilies would die in the pot within days and I always forgot to plant them. So, yesterday I took my time getting just the right potting soil, and picking out just the right flower. Then we went to the cemetery and they all watched me put those pretty flowers in the vases. I made my niece promise to water them. Hopefully they’ll live and if they don’t well then I know that Loyd will have a good laugh over my attempt at gardening. He always did!
Sometimes I say that Life is not being very nice to us right now. The memories of death seem so close to my mind, health issues and then the financial problems that we are having seem ever present. It looks like everything is going good for a few days and then we come spiraling right back down. Sometimes I think that would like to run away, but then I remember ‘where would I run’? God is right there with me. Without God in my life I couldn’t make it. He is my ever present help in my time of need. This too shall pass! When this time of my life is over I’ll look back and see how God brought me through, and maybe I can use something that has happened to me to help others in their time of need. ‘But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.’ Job 23:10
Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint.
To a place where there are no unhappy days
And there are no unhappy words
Standing alone in a storm of life
Without any way to turn
Tears are falling down like rain
From the lessons that I have learned
Yea, I wish that I could fly away
To a land beyond this pain
And lay my dreams on a mountain top
And wash my mind in the rain
Words by Frank Dycus
Psalms 55:6 And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest.
Sometimes life becomes unbearable and human nature says run away or hide from the problems. We all know as adults that is impossible. Your problems don’t go away because you pretend they are not there. The song above was written about love & heartbreak, but that isn’t what I am writing about today. I am writing about those problems that seem insurmountable. Whether it be grief over the death of a loved one, sickness, financial problems, or heartbreak.
The last few years it seems that it has been one problem after another in our life. I have been taught that there is only one place you can run, and that is into the arms of God. He will comfort you when it seems that no comfort is to be found. When the fear of life has you in a death grip ask God to take away the fear and pain. When you actually think about it, life is frightening. God didn’t promise that we would never feel pain or heartache, but he did promise that he would never leave us alone.
I’ve always had a fear in my life of being left alone; that the people I love the most would just disappear out of my life. Sometimes death takes your loved ones but more often than not we just get so wrapped up in our lives that we become out of sight out of mind. If it isn’t someone that we see or talk to on a daily basis then they get pushed to the backburner. I don’t let many people get close to me because of that fear. I keep only a few close because I just couldn’t bear it if I lost someone that I love.
I thought that I had almost overcome that fear and then Charlie’s parents died. The first few months after their death I was afraid every time my children left my sight that I wouldn’t see them again. I would panic and my heart would race until they made it back home. Then I started worrying about my own parents. I know that life is not meant to last forever, and my parents are getting older. Eventually they will die, and I know that, but I can’t bear the thought. Charlie tells me that we shouldn’t be afraid of death because that is are only transportation to Heaven, and I’m not afraid of my own death. I simply don’t want my family to die!
Yesterday we went to Dalton and visited Charlie’s brothers. We met out at the cemetery, and I planted flowers in the vases at the tombstone. They kept asking me why I wanted real flowers and not silk like was on all the other tombstones. Loyd always tried to teach me how to plant a garden, and I just never could get it right. One time he & I planted two tomato plants at my house. I tended them just like he told me. I grew the prettiest plants you’ve ever seen, but I never had one tomato on those plants. He would just laugh every time he would see them. Lethia would bring home the Easter lilies from the Easter Memorial Service, plant them in her yard, and just as pretty as you please those flowers would come back the next year. Not me! My lilies would die in the pot within days and I always forgot to plant them. So, yesterday I took my time getting just the right potting soil, and picking out just the right flower. Then we went to the cemetery and they all watched me put those pretty flowers in the vases. I made my niece promise to water them. Hopefully they’ll live and if they don’t well then I know that Loyd will have a good laugh over my attempt at gardening. He always did!
Sometimes I say that Life is not being very nice to us right now. The memories of death seem so close to my mind, health issues and then the financial problems that we are having seem ever present. It looks like everything is going good for a few days and then we come spiraling right back down. Sometimes I think that would like to run away, but then I remember ‘where would I run’? God is right there with me. Without God in my life I couldn’t make it. He is my ever present help in my time of need. This too shall pass! When this time of my life is over I’ll look back and see how God brought me through, and maybe I can use something that has happened to me to help others in their time of need. ‘But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.’ Job 23:10
Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Full Circle
Do you ever think about how sometimes life comes full circle? I didn't go to work today because I woke up with a migraine. Ugghhh... It is the first one that I've had in months. Needless to say, it wasn't a good morning. I didn't sleep well because I had wicked dreams all night long. I guess that is why I woke up with a headache. I feel like I clenched my teeth too. My jaw is even sore!
As Charlie was walking out the door this morning he said something that made me think about coming full circle. He said sometimes God has to bring us back to the bottom so we can start over. I feel like that is what we are doing. We have our house for sale, and we've already found a house that we are going to move into. It is only about 5 minutes from the church and we love it. It is a little country house. We are just renting it for now. We do have an option to buy it, but we haven't made that decision yet. We will probably move in May after Beth graduates.
Today I was reading a few of my posts from 2008. I posted then about loving being a housewife. How I was saving money on groceries, cooking for my family, quilting, and just being generally happy. It is funny how I remember being so worried about money the entire time I wasn't working, but the bills were always paid. We didn't have a whole lot of extras but we were happy. I can tell from my posts that my memories of that time are accurate.
So much has happened in our life in the last 2 years. Sometimes it seems like when Charlie's parents died that we just stopped living too. When we finally 'woke up' we realized that different things are important to us now. We now cherish the time we have with each other because life isn't forever. We love spending time together but we've always done that. The difference is now it seems like even the little things we do together are more meaningful! I'm not sure what is going to happen over the next few months but I am peace. God is working in our life, and I'm thankful that he has found me worthy for the test. April 9th will be 2 years since we received that dreaded phone call. It was a Thursday afternoon that I'll never forget. Here we are today, full circle, back at the bottom but ready to be remade. I'm thankful that God can take the clay and reform it into a vessel worthy of Him.
As Charlie was walking out the door this morning he said something that made me think about coming full circle. He said sometimes God has to bring us back to the bottom so we can start over. I feel like that is what we are doing. We have our house for sale, and we've already found a house that we are going to move into. It is only about 5 minutes from the church and we love it. It is a little country house. We are just renting it for now. We do have an option to buy it, but we haven't made that decision yet. We will probably move in May after Beth graduates.
Today I was reading a few of my posts from 2008. I posted then about loving being a housewife. How I was saving money on groceries, cooking for my family, quilting, and just being generally happy. It is funny how I remember being so worried about money the entire time I wasn't working, but the bills were always paid. We didn't have a whole lot of extras but we were happy. I can tell from my posts that my memories of that time are accurate.
So much has happened in our life in the last 2 years. Sometimes it seems like when Charlie's parents died that we just stopped living too. When we finally 'woke up' we realized that different things are important to us now. We now cherish the time we have with each other because life isn't forever. We love spending time together but we've always done that. The difference is now it seems like even the little things we do together are more meaningful! I'm not sure what is going to happen over the next few months but I am peace. God is working in our life, and I'm thankful that he has found me worthy for the test. April 9th will be 2 years since we received that dreaded phone call. It was a Thursday afternoon that I'll never forget. Here we are today, full circle, back at the bottom but ready to be remade. I'm thankful that God can take the clay and reform it into a vessel worthy of Him.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
New Blogs
I am so excited! I have awesome news! My daughter & sister-in-law have both started blogs. You should check them out!
I don't have time to do a proper blog post this evening but just to give you a heads up...We are selling our house! Yes, there is a realtor's sign in the front yard. Please pray with me that God's will be done and that we get somewhere close to asking price!!
I don't have time to do a proper blog post this evening but just to give you a heads up...We are selling our house! Yes, there is a realtor's sign in the front yard. Please pray with me that God's will be done and that we get somewhere close to asking price!!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Remember Me
A few weeks ago Charlie preached on living for the Lord, and in doing so you are able to ask him for what you need. His message was on "Remember Me". He referenced the place in the Bible where Hezekiah was about to die. The prophet Isaiah came to his house to give him the message to set his house in order that was he was going to die. Hezekiah immedately begin to pray. His words to the Lord were "I beseech thee, O Lord, remember now how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight." II Kings 20:1-4
The next day I begin to search in the Bible for places where it says "Remember Me". The first that I found is in Judges 16:28 "And Samson called unto the LORD, and said, O Lord God, remember me, I pray thee, and strengthen me, I pray thee, only this once, O God, that I may be at once avenged of the Philistines for my two eyes."
Then in 1 Samuel 1:11 Hannah is praying to God begging him for a child. "And she vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the LORD all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head."
In Job 14:13 "O that thou wouldest hide me in the grave, that thou wouldest keep me secret, until thy wrath be past, that thou wouldest appoint me a set time, and remember me!"
There are many others but the one common thread among these people is that they were all servants of the Lord. They were faithful to God. I want to live in a way that in my time of need I can ask God to "Remember Me!"
The next day I begin to search in the Bible for places where it says "Remember Me". The first that I found is in Judges 16:28 "And Samson called unto the LORD, and said, O Lord God, remember me, I pray thee, and strengthen me, I pray thee, only this once, O God, that I may be at once avenged of the Philistines for my two eyes."
Then in 1 Samuel 1:11 Hannah is praying to God begging him for a child. "And she vowed a vow, and said, O LORD of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid, and remember me, and not forget thine handmaid, but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the LORD all the days of his life, and there shall no razor come upon his head."
In Job 14:13 "O that thou wouldest hide me in the grave, that thou wouldest keep me secret, until thy wrath be past, that thou wouldest appoint me a set time, and remember me!"
There are many others but the one common thread among these people is that they were all servants of the Lord. They were faithful to God. I want to live in a way that in my time of need I can ask God to "Remember Me!"
Expecting
Acts 3:5 "And he gave heed unto them, expecting to receive something of them."
The quote above is on the wall at my chiropractor's office. I was reminded of this picture as my Pastor preached this morning on "expecting".
I went out to church this morning with the same renewed excitement that I wrote about yesterday. I was expecting a blessing! We hadn't been to church since the Wednesday before Christmas because of the weather and sickness so I felt like a kid going to the toy store! I wasn't disappointed. The Lord was very present in our service.
Our preacher started his message this morning in Acts 3:1-8. It is the story of a man who was lame from birth. Someone carried him to the temple gate so he could beg for alms as people entered the temple. Peter and John were walking through the gate when the man asked them for alms. He asked expecting to receive something of them. He didn't think he would be turned down. He was positive that he would receive something from the men but he didn't realize that on this day he would be healed. Peter told the man that they didn't have any money but that he would give him what he had. He said "In the name of Jesus rise up and walk." After he was healed he immediately stood up and entered the temple. He was walking, leaping, and praising God!
Our new word for the year is EXPECT! We will enter in to each day expecting something from God. He is our heavenly Father, and will not forsake us. Do you need something from God? Have you asked him for it? Do you expect it? I do! I am living my life for the Lord and I expect to receive his blessings. The biggest thing to remember are that blessings are not always monetary. The best blessings are spiritual. As a Child of God you can expect to receive blessings from him. You can expect for him to answer your prayers. You can expect for him to give you all that you need. Best of all you can expect when this life is over to receive a home in Heaven.
Go tomorrow EXPECTING...
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