Friday, April 10

Charlie & his Dad in February 2009

Thursday night was the first of seven nights that we spent at the hospital. Friday began at 5:45am, the first time that "the door" opened for the day. For 7 days we ate, slept, and plain lived by the opening and closing of "the door". This was my first time to see Loyd since the accident. For me to tell this story accurately I need to tell you that Loyd was dropped as an infant, and his back was broken. He lived his entire life with a hunchback. I had never seen him laying on his back until that morning. I was immediately concerned because I knew that this was causing him considerable pain on top of the pain he was in from his injuries. He was having trouble breathing, and with each exhale he would say "Oh Lord". I couldn't keep from crying. Charlie was able to hold him up a little and that would relieve some of the pain. It was so sad to see Charlie holding his daddy like a little baby. He would wrap his arms around him and then just pull him up to him. It was like he was giving him a big bear hug. The first time that Charlie did this Loyd looked at him and said "I Love You." Of course, this had us all crying. At 6:30 we had to leave the room to return at 8:30. When we returned the nurse told us that Loyd was having considerable trouble breathing. The respiratory nurse said that every breath was hurting him because of the pressure from his back and from the fractured ribs. He was breathing very shallow, and couldn't get a deep breath. They were concerned about pneumonia setting up in his lungs. They recommended that he be put on a ventilator. Charlie explained to the nurses that he wouldn't do anything until all his brothers & his sister arrived at the hospital because they needed Loyd as alert as possible so they could tell him about Lethia's passing. The nurses then placed Loyd on a CPAP to assist his breathing. Within minutes he seemed to be breathing easier.

When the siblings arrived Charlie explained the situation. Charlie also explained a conversation that we had with Loyd the first of February when Charlie's uncle was placed on life support. Loyd was adamant that he never be placed on life support. He told us, Lethia, and Charlie's sister, Tiny. Of course we never thought that we would placed in this situation. At 11:00 they let us back in to see Loyd. All the siblings gathered around his bedside and told him about Lethia's passing. We weren't sure if he understood or not. He was on morphine for the pain, and that caused him to be very sleepy. He was able to talk, and he said "Oh Lord, Thank You Lord, I Love You Lord" He didn't stop between statements.

The nurses left him on the CPAP machine until later that afternoon. Then around 5:00pm they came out and said he was still having considerable trouble breathing. They again recommended the ventilator. Charlie was adamant about following his father's wishes, but his other brother's didn't hear Loyd say it so they wanted to go ahead and place him on the ventilator. The respiratory nurse said it could help him breath, and that would give him a better chance of recovery. So, at 5:30 they placed him on the ventilator.

We visited with Loyd at the opening of "the door" throughout the rest of day but he was no longer able to communicate with us. We were told that it was because of the morphine that they were giving him for the pain, and the fact that without enough oxygen he was becoming very lethargic.

**I am still having problems with my home computer so my daily entries won't be daily but as I have access to a computer.

Thursday, April 9th

This Thursday was similar to many other Thursday's since December. I went to work at 7am because I needed to get off early to take Trevlyn to the doctor for his 4th ultrasound. I have a great boss; as long as my work is done, and I work my allotted hours than he is fine with making my schedule flexible. Trevlyn's appointment was at 2pm. It didn't take long and by 2:30 we were at Home Depot looking for material so that I could make a sign for the Easter Festival at church. After leaving Home Depot we stopped by Hobby Lobby. My to do list was long...Our church Easter Festival was scheduled for the following Saturday, and I still had many last minute things to do. While I was searching for Easter Egg Dye, candy & prizes, Trevlyn was talking on the phone to my brother Corey. That Thursday night our church was starting a revival, and it was going to be the first revival that Trevlyn had ever spoke in. He was very nervous, and Corey was giving him a "hard" time. It was all in good fun. We were laughing and just enjoying the beautiful day. Little did we know that at 3:42 our lives would irrevocably change forever.

We decided to go home after leaving Hobby Lobby instead of going to Party City. Trevlyn really was getting very nervous, and a little sick to his stomach! We were almost home and I received a call from Charlie. I knew that something was wrong as soon as I answered because he was crying, sobbing was more like it. He asked where I was, and then he said go straight home, and pack us some clothes. We are going to Georgia because Mama & Daddy have been in a wreck. I asked him if he knew how bad it was and he explained that his sister had called him from the scene. His parents had just left their house, and less than a mile from their home a vehicle passed a car in their lane hitting them head on. The ambulance had already taken his Mother to the hospital but they were still getting his Dad and brother out. The truck was completely caved in and all three had to be cut out of the truck. At that time no one knew exactly how bad it was, but by the appearance of the wreck his sister didn't think any of them would make it.

An hour had passed by the time we all arrived home, packed a few outfits, and were ready to go. By that time we had received another call letting us know that Lethia, Charlie's mother, had been airlifted to Erlanger in Chattanooga. His Dad & brother were in ICU at the Dalton hospital. At that time we knew that Loyd, Charlie's dad, had 8 fractured ribs on the right side, a fractured vertebrae in his neck, and a cut on his left hand. Joe, Charlie's brother, had a broken wrist, and his right leg was crushed. Lethia was in the worst shape. She had internal bleeding. Her left leg was crushed, her right leg was broken, and her pelvis was broken. Before airlifting her to Erlanger they were having a hard time getting her blood pressure stabilized.

We arrived at Erlanger shortly after Charlie's sister and niece arrived. The nurses explained that Lethia was taken straight into surgery. We waited and waited and waited. More family arrived. Charlie's family is huge, and I think a member of every one of Lethia's siblings was present. Finally a nurse came and took us to the ICU waiting room, but we were turned away because our family was too big. They said only 2 people could be in that waiting room. We were told that visiting hours were from 8:30-9:00, and then they took us to the CCU waiting room because it was bigger. The nurse explained that they would call us when it was time for visitation. We asked when we would have a chance to speak with the doctor and she told us that as soon as the doctor was able to get cleaned up he would be by. At this point it was about 7:30. We thought everything was fine. Of course we knew that she was critical because she was going to ICU, but we thought we were going to be able to see her shortly. We even began to talk about getting Loyd & Joe moved to Erlanger so they could all be in the same hospital. About 8:15 the doctor comes out and ask to speak with the Singleton family. He takes us into the hallway. Then he begins to explain..."When Lethia arrived her blood pressure was very low, and not stable. She had internal bleeding, and many external injuries to her lower extremities. We were able to get her blood pressure stabilized. We found that her internal bleeding was from where her bowel had come loose. We were able to get the bleeding stopped, and the bowel reattached. Then her heart just gave out." The way he was explaining we all thought that everything was okay, but then his last sentence just about stopped our hearts! After about an hour they let us back to see her. She looked like an angel. Lethia's skin is olive toned and her hair is white. Laying on the bed she looked like an old Indian woman. She looked like she was sleeping. We all said our goodbyes and made our way to Dalton.

Upon arriving to the Dalton ICU we found out that Joe was still in surgery. Charlie's other 2 brothers didn't want them to tell their Dad that Lethia had passed until they could tell Joe. Joe didn't get out of surgery until after midnight and by this time it was too late to tell Loyd. They made a decision not to tell Loyd or Joe until the next day. They didn't want Charlie to go back and see Loyd either. They were afraid that he would tell him about Lethia. Thursday was the last day that his Dad was fully conscious.

My Grace is Sufficient for Thee

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (King James Version)

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

Valerie's sister shared the verses above. As I read the above I thought about how the Lord prepares you for things even when you don't realize it. A couple of weeks ago Charlie and I were making plans for the months of April & May. We were trying to find a weekend to come down and spend a weekend with Loyd & Lethia, Charlie's parents. We had something going on at church every weekend until we go on vacation in May; however our plans were to spend the weekend of Mother's Day with them. Yesterday we were coming out of the funeral home and Charlie said "I bet God was laughing when we were making plans a few weeks ago".

I started this post on Saturday, April 18, but due to computer issues I was unable to finish it. I think that I will let this be the start of a few posts dedicated to my wonderful husband's parents. I will try to write a post about them each day. I will tell you about the events that led to their painful death, and other posts about how they've impacted my life.

God is in control

What a week!! I don't even know where to begin, but I guess the week starts with Monday so here goes... Last Monday I found out that my brother's first wife; the Mother of my niece & nephew was still in the Dalton Hospital's ICU. She had been admitted with pneumonia and had steadily gotten worse. The doctor's couldn't find out what was wrong with her, and where all the infection was coming from. The diagnosis hours before her death was that she had contracted an infection from an IUD. She died early Tuesday morning. She was 38 years old, and the Mother of 2 teenagers. Her funeral was planned for Friday at 2pm at Ponder's Funeral Home with visitation on Thursday night at 6pm.

Also on Tuesday morning we found out that my step-father's brother had a massive heart attack. His heart quit beating and he was gone for 25-30 minutes. They were able to shock his heart and revive him. Today he is doing great. He didn't have to have surgery and this morning was sitting up in the bed eating.

Some of you know my son has been sick since December when he contracted mono. His spleen has been enlarged now for 4 months. When we went in March for the ultrasound the test results said that his spleen was twice the size that it should be, and that he would still be unable to participate in any sporting activities. We all know that sports is Trevlyn's life, and this has been very hard for him. On Thursday afternoon we went for another ultrasound. We should receive the test results back later this week.

Then about 3:30 on Thursday afternoon I received a phone call from my husband. He was crying, and he told me to meet him at home; we were going to Georgia. I know that something was bad wrong. I finally got it out of him that his Mother & Father had been involved in horrible head-on collision. His brother was also in the car with them. When we first received the call we were told that they were all in horrible shape and had to be cut out of the truck. I immediately started praying for God's will. They airlifted my mother-in-law to Erlanger in Chattanooga TN for further treatment while my father-in-law and brother-in-law stayed in ICU in Dalton. Some of the family stayed in Dalton & we met Charlie's sister in Chattanooga at about 5:30. By 8pm the doctor's came out from surgery and told us that his Mother didn't make it. Her heart was unable to survive the trauma. We left Erlanger and came to the hospital in Dalton to see my father-in-law and brother-in-law. By Friday afternoon my father-in-law was unable to breath on his own and was put on a ventilator. My brother-in-law had multiple injuries; his right leg is shattered, his left wrist is broken, and his right knee had to be reconstructed. We don't know if he'll ever walk again.

Today is Sunday, well actually since it is 2am I guess it is Monday. We've now been here since Thursday night. The good news first...Joe, my brother-in-law, is improving day by day. They've been able to sit him up little by little. He is fully awake, other than the pain meds they give him, and able to communicate with us. My father-in-law is not improving. The doctor's told us that he had a stroke sometime between Saturday morning and today. He is in unresponsive and hasn't talked to us at all since Thursday when he arrived at the hospital. Of course he couldn't talk if he wanted to because of the tubes in his throat. We have seen him try to squeeze someones hand and he grimaces his face, but the nurses say that doesn't count because he can't respond on command. We've been told that it doesn't look good for him to make it.

My in-laws have been my parents for almost 19 years. I love them with all my heart. I've never had those horrible mother-in-law stories that many people talk about. My mother-in-law was truly an angel. She was such a Godly woman. My father-in-law is also a Godly man. He is a deacon in our church, and at 81 he has served his church for many years.

I would ask that you pray for our family. We are in desperate need of God! I know that he is in control, and when he is ready to move then he will. Thank you for all of you who have already posted about the accident. You'll never know what you prayers and thoughts mean to us.

My mother-in-law is now a star in her local town too. I think we could have done without this type of stardom though. You can click on the link to read the story that was featured on the front page of the newspaper.
http://www.northwestgeorgia.com/local/local_story_100201112.html

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Aldi's

Our Aldi's finally opened on Saturday, March 7! They started teasing us before Christmas when they put up the big sign, but finally it opened! I had my first opportunity to visit yesterday after church. The biggest problem with the first Aldi's in Knoxville is that it is across town from where I live. It is very close to where I go to church though, so in an effort not to waste gas, we went yesterday between church services. Of course, I forgot to bring my own grocery bags, and I didn't have a quarter for the buggy. Luckily, Trevlyn had a quarter, and I was able to snag a couple of boxes to bring home my goodies! Charlie & the kids weren't very impressed with the store, but why would they be? They aren't the ones struggling to meet the grocery budget every week.

A few of the items that I was impressed with:

$1.99 for 1 gallon of Skim Milk
$2.19 for 1 gallon of 2% Milk
$0.49 for 1 dozen large eggs
$0.99 for 1lb of slicing tomatoes
$0.99 12oz. Salad Mix
$1.49 5-7 oz Spring Mix
$1.49 12oz Baby Spinach

The other items that I bought I could have probably purchased at Kroger's with a coupon for about the same price. The store claims to have different items every week as "store specials". I didn't get to look around much because the entire family was with me, but I hope to go back and take more time! I plan to make Aldi's one of my weekly stops and I'll let you know what I get next week. I feel more and more like my grandmother everyday. She would go from store to store to get the best prices! I remember...Pruetts, then Red Food Store, and then the farmer's market for vegetables. I always hated going with her on grocery day because it literally took the entire day! Now, I remember those times fondly. I wish I could recall them more vividly. Memories...

For Our Children

I found a beautiful poem written by Amy Carmichael. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.

Father, hear us, we are praying,

Hear the words our hearts are saying,

We are praying for our children.

Keep them from the powers of evil,

From the secret, hidden peril,

From the whirlpool that would suck them,

From the treacherous quicksand, pluck them.

From the worlding's hollow gladness,

From the sting of faithless sadness,

Holy Father, save our children.

Through life's troubled water steer them,

Through life's bitter battle cheer them,

Father, Father, be Thou near them.

Read the language of our longing,

Read the wordless pleadings thronging,

Holy Father, for our children.

And wherever they may abide,

Lead them Home at eventide.

By Amy Carmichael